Friday, April 16, 2010

True and Believable! Even for a hunting story

Unlike yesterdays post, this story is both true and believable. It is also a two part post. I don't want to bore you all at once. A couple of years ago I began hunting again. Hunting in Virginia is different then what I have done in the past. To begin with, the area I live in is highly populated so only shotguns with buckshot is legal. The second is that you don't walk very far, once again there is a subdivision or private property. So you either use a tree stand or my personal favorite, my five dollar folding chair from Wal-mart. The next thing I had to get used to was that people use dogs for hunting, if you are going to sit in a chair, something needs to push the deer around.

So there I sat in my five dollar chair with my trusty shotgun. As you can imagine, this can be quite boring so I pulled out a bicycling magazine. Then I ate a sandwich. Then I fell asleep. Then I woke up. Then I ate another sandwich. Then I fell asleep. Then I drank a couple of Mountain Dews. Then I fell asleep again. Then I heard a noise, it was a squirrel so I went back to sleep. So the morning went.

Then I heard some dogs, as they got closer their menacing bark told me to get ready. They were pushing something, maybe to me. So I stood up and streched a little, after all a five dollar chair from Wal-Mart does not offer much on the side of lumbar support. Then I brushed the crumbs from my sandwiches off of my old Army BDUs. The beasts were getting closer, I began to fear for my life too, what if they abandon the deer they were chasing and came after me. I had eaten my lunch so I would have no sandwiches to throw to them as a distraction. What if I had to run and abandon my five dollar chair. What if I had to run with the kink in my back. So I put down my shotgun and strectched a little more. Then it hit me, I had a shotgun to fight off ravaging dogs.

So I watched for the deer, hoping it would be in range, then out of the dense oak trees came a deer. All I saw was antlers. I had to quickly pick a lane to shoot down, the vegetation is very thick and I fired my first shot, then I shifted to my next lane and fired again. I stopped to listen, then out of nowhere came the beasts in hot persuit of this deer. This is a problem becuase an injured deer will get up and run from them.

Out of the dense vegetation came two dogs. To my disbelief and disappointment, they were not huge ravenous dogs, but tiny beagles yelping. I was almost embarrassed for the large buck for running from these dogs. A friend of mine called and said that he found the deer in the swamp by following the dogs barking. After wading out to my waist to pull it in we found that it was a special deer.

I was so excited that I called Emily and told her about my amazing whitetail buck. Her reply was far less excited and she asked what my plan was. I told her that there was only one thing to do with this deer, mount it and put it next to the bikes in the family room. As you have probably imagined, Emily was less than......excited about me mounting a deer and bringing it home.

At church the next day that was the talk of the ward. None of the men went to Sunday School, we all stood around and looked at pictures. We all agreed that the left facing shoulder mount would be the best option for the 9 inch drop tine. Although Emily and I agreed that mounting the deer was not in "my" best interest I succumbed to peer pressure in the halls of the church.

I wanted my deer mounted and it is at this point that this story becomes both really true and believable. A friend of mine and I devised a scheme so fool proof that I found myself laughing one of those diabolical laughs. Muah hahahahahaha. Stay tuned tomorrow for the rest of the story.
The story of the plan so simple and fool proof that nothing could go wrong. Really!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. So...what was so special about this deer, anyway?